A note on driver road tests

I recently got my N which for those not in BC means that I can now drive by myself. To get the N designation, you have to pass a drivers road test where a person tags along on a ride for 45 minutes, asks you to do basic driving maneuvers and then grades you on how well you do these maneuvers. However, having another person (a stranger) beside you while you are driving can be intimidating. This is especially true if you notice the other person marking down notes which almost always means you are that much closer to failing. Is it a coincidence that the time I passed the road test, the female tester hugged the clipboard to her chest and instead looked at her nails for most of the time? Instead of having a person sitting right next to you, I suggest they switch to some sort of automated voice system. At the beginning of the test, a little box would be attached to the passenger side airbag and turned on. It would have a GPS and 360 degree cameras on it and would also be programmed to instruct the testee on their next move i.e. turn left/right or parallel park. A person could then sit back at testing headquarters and moniter the video feeds and data from the automated system. The only problem would be when the testee is in serious danger and needs to be stopped from further endangering him/herself and others. Since I'm done with the road test for a while, it would be fun to see them switch to the Chinese system of road tests where you are tested in a controlled environment called a driving park. The instructor still sits beside you but they are even more intimidating since they will try to trick you into doing illegal behaviours to simulate peer pressure (i.e. yelling stop in an area where it is illegal to do so).

Vending machines are trying to steal all our money

I just moved into residence yesturday. Of course, that mean's I left some important supplies at home including my water bottle. To prevent dehydration, I decided to purchase some bottled water from a vending machine. The first vending machine I came to did not take coins. NO COINS. Only credit card or 5 and 10 dollar bills. Not that I didn't have 5 or 10 dollar bills but aren't vending machines notorious for malfunctioning and not producing change or the chosen product. Perhaps this is a sterotype (I don't want you to think I'm a hater of machines) but why are they suddenly taking larger denomenations. Certainly no drink would ever come to such a ridiculous price (Of course, companies could be preparing for the future when water becomes a scarce commoditiy). Needless to say, I didn't purchase anything from this particular vending machine. The next vending machine I went to did take coins and I happily placed the dollar seventy-five into the slot. I then pressed the numbers 55 only to see a confirmation come up for my choice of beverage 52. Luckily this was still bottled water. When the water came out, it was room temperature although it guaranteed a cold refreshing drink. I might be thinking too much into it but something makes me feel like vending machines don't like me anymore.

Things I think in the heat

1. Maybe the constant heat wave would be good motivation for some people to cut down on green house emmissions. Nothing like unbearable heat for an extended period of time to really impress upon people the validity of global warming. Then again, people might just wait out the heat by blasting their airconditioner to max where ever they are.

2. Mighty good time for a solar eclipse, eh? Those lucky Asian bastards.

3. Someone should invent some device to keep your car cool while it's outside in the sun (those infommercial ones don't count).

4. If I were a plant right now, all would be well. Light reactions, anyone?

5. It's hard to think in the heat (notice how my thoughts are getting shorter)

6. How does my cat survive with a fur coat on all the time? Maybe I should trim it down.

That's not my cat by the way. I wouldn't be that cruel.

7. Someone should make a cold treat that doesn't make you feel guilty when you eat it in large quantities (I don't care so much about becoming fat as say becoming unhealthy which can happen to anyone)

8. I saw some bikers in white spandex (or some other type of skin tight clothing) riding along the highway. They sure are lucky their sponsers decided to go with a white as opposed to a black jersey.

9. Manufacturers of solar panels must be cursing under their breath on days like these. Not enough sunny days in Vancouver to warrant the installation? Here are your @#$%^&$* sunny days. Go shove it up your $#@%&.

Heirs to the throne?

Congradulations to Roger and Mirka Federer on the birth of their twin girls. Due to their father's lofty achievements, the girls already have expectations of becoming great tennis players. Most of these expectations are expressed in a joking tone like Andy Roddick's twitter comment: "Introducing the 2029-2040 Wimbledon women's champions, the Federer girls..". Afterall, they are just a day old (or young might be more appropriate). On the other hand, there are already some gambling sites (mostly in the UK) who have already put wagers and odds on the girls winning Wimbledon before their 25th birthdays (1-100 if you wanted to know).

This gets me to the much broader topic of children following in their parent's footsteps. Among athletes and celebrities, this trend seems quite common (although it's human nature to notice trends, even amongst an ocean of counterexamples). For example: Kirk and Michael Douglas (actors), Martin and Charlie Sheen (actors), Bobby and Brett Hull (hockey), Archie and Peyton Manning (football),Ken Griffy Sr and Jr (baseball), Goldie Hawn and Kate Hudson (actresses), and finally it pains me to say this but Billy Rae and Miley Cyrus (singers/actors, sort of).

Maybe the reason this trend doesn't extend so much to real life is the fact that athletes and celebrities are famous for physical attributes. Athletes needing to have athletic physiques while celebrities need to have good looks. These qualities are a lot easier to transfer (well, not as easy as money) than say intrapersonal skills or knowledge. So while most of us are born with a blank slate, some of these famous children have genes that are important in their parent's careers. Although, there are still some family businesses going on in the world. Also, culture has a lot to do with this. In an individualistic society, children are supposed to create their own path but in collectivist society, children are probably more inclined to follow their parent's line of work.

In my case, does my wanting to become a pharamicist have anything to do with my mom being a nurse? Probably. I also know of people who study science and who have parents who also study science. Coincidence? Maybe, but not likely. We are all shaped in some form by our parents. In some cases, familiarity breeds a form of contempt. But in other cases, we admire the work and achievements of our parents and aspire to be like them.

No wonder my TAs were so mediocre

Turns out it's easier than you think to be a TA (teaching assistant). You just have to have taken the course. Well at least that is what was implied in an email from the UBC math department. While I did well in first year math, I assumed a larger math resume was required before imparting ones knowledge onto the next generation of number crunchers. Then again, it is just first year math for biology students so how hard could it be? There really wasn't any mention of previous experience with tutoring students, volunteer experience or anything like that. The only supplemental resource they asked for was my previous year's grade summary. If grades are the major determining factor, I might very well be selected to become a TA (I am considering applying). This would not be great for the students I help because I am an antisocial person who strives on answers rather than explanations. I might know how to do something but it will be some time before I can properly explain it to some one else so that they understand. Also , what if someone comes up with a question I can't answer? Imagine how long that awkward silence could go on for. All my calculus knowledge is perspiring out of me as we speak. But of course there are benefits to a job like this such as the pay and the experience (something like this could help you get hired at UBC for other jobs in the future). While I'm weighing the pros and the cons, I might as well start brushing up on my differentiation and my integration techniques. It also probably won't hurt to develop a thick Chinese accent.

Biopics that should be made but probably won't

Note: When I talk about movies, I mean major motion pictures and not documentaries or miniseries.

Hitler: What did this guy ever do to deserve..oh ya. There have been many portrayals of Nazi Germany and and concentration camps, some with even brief glimpses of Hitler himself (Valkyrie being the most recent). But what about a movie about Hitler's life (and not the part where he kills the Jews because everybody knows about that). Sure the guy did some bad stuff but he was still human was he not? It's hard to imagine Hitler at age 9 being just absolutley evil. Didn't he want to be a painter? The movie could revolve around his adolescence because I'm sure few people know what that was like.
Why this probably won't happen: Hollywood loves a villain and Hitler is perfect for that. Also, it turns out that a lot of potential directors and actors in Hollywood who happen to be Jewish and they might not fall in love with the idea (i.e. Steven Spielberg, Woody Allen, Oliver Stone, Natalie Portman, Adrien Brody, Sean Penn). Artists will pursue art for arts sake but there are moral boundaries some will not cross.

Napolean: Apparently Stanley Kubrick (director of 2001: A Space Odyssey) wanted to make a sweeping epic about Napolean but the film was stopped because the budget was too large (ironic that anything associated with Napolean was too large). This would be a great movie because it would have lots of historical fight scenes, lots of dialogue in French accents and lots of historically correct costumes including leotard-esque pantaloons for the gents.
Why this probably won't happen: Americans/Canadians don't have a particularily strong appreciation for French history. Certainly not enough to sit in a theatre for over 2 and a half hours watching a short Frenchman conquer Europe.
By the way, does anyone else think Gary Bettman looks like Napolean?

Michaelangelo/Leonardo da Vinci: Either of these great artists would make great subjects for major motion pictures. With Michaelangelo, you could focus on David and the Sistine Chapel and with Leonardo da Vinci you could focus on his inventions and the Mona Lisa, the Last Supper etc.
Why this probably won`t happen: Watching someone paint might be as boring as watching paint dry (technically, you are watching paint dry).

Albert Einstein: You`d think Hollywood would pounce on the story of a young post office clerk who secretly creates a theory that changed science forever (kind of like in Good Will Hunting but with actual accomplishments). Add to this the fact that he is one of the most recognizable characters of the 20th century, with the flowing hair and the crazy attitude, and it`s a shock someone hasn`t won an oscar yet for portraying him in a movie.
Why this probably won`t happen: Americans or Canadians (me included) just aren't capable of following along with such complex theories (E=mc^2 is one thing but what about the theory of relativity?). It's not like you can just skip through his theories like they did in a Beautiful Mind because they were such a big part of his story.

By the way, there are several actual biopics being developed in Hollywood as we speak. Look forward to seeing Charles Darwin, Earnest Hemingway, Martin Luthor King, Frank Sinatra, Abraham Lincoln on a screen near you. (interesting that they are mostly Americans while the biopics I want are mostly of Europeans eh?)

The Lord of the Strings: The career (up to this point) of Roger Federer

The title of this post is clearly inspired (if not in a cringe inducing way) by the J.R.R. Tolkien masterpiece of three volumes. While this may be corny enough, like the infomercials always say "But there's more!" I have split up the career of Roger Federer into three parts based on the three volumes of the story.

Part 1: The Mellowship of the King (I know mellowship isn't a word. Just play along)

As you may or may not know, Roger was once a very vociferous and short-tempered individual. There was many a match when yelling at the umpire, throwing the racket and cursing could be observed from Federer's side of the court. The trantrum throwing brat has now been replaced by a metrosexual man who is often seen crying after a big match (win or loss) and seen carrying a man purse (Not sure what he puts in there because he has a bag for rackets as well). This may present an image problem of its own but on the court, Roger has become a quite and graceful athlete. To be honest, Federer would probably be more well received in North America if he did still have some of that John McEnroe complex.

Part 2: The Two Towers (This is exactly the same as the title of the book which means I am now plagiarizing)

From 2004-2007 Federer was nearly impossible to beat. Then came along a young Spaniard who made his way into the elite company of Federer (Nadal was there from 2004-2007 but didn`t really make a breakthrough on any surface besides clay). These two towering figures in men`s tennis (you get the reference now) had some epic battles in their rivalry including the 2007 and 2008 Wimbledon finals, the latter being hailed as the greatest match ever played. Then they played another epic match in the 2009 Australian Open. Nadal, having won the last three meetings in a grand slam final with Federer, wrangled the number one ranking from Roger`s grasp and began forging his own legacy. Most people started writing off Federer as a great athlete who`s career was starting to go down hill. Some thought he would never win another grand slam.

Part 3: The Return of the King (More plagiarizing. I guess there's no harm now.)

Several months into 2009 and Federer had still not won a title at any event. Part of this was due to a back injury that plagued him starting from the end of the 2008 season. The other part was probably due to a mental block of losing his invincibility on the tennis court. At the same time, Rafael Nadal was winning every title in the clay court season and poised to take another at the Madrid Masters. That was until (as a shock to most of the tennis world) Federer reached the final and beat Nadal on clay in straight sets (a feat reminiscent to beating Michael Phelps in the pool). This provided a little more drama going into the French Open but most still thought Nadal was a lock to take his fifth title in a row at Roland Garros. Everything seemed to be going as planned until a tall Swede came along and ousted Nadal in 4 sets, setting the table for Federer`s first ever French Open victory. Like Pete Sampras, Federer up to that point was a great player but one who had never won a grand slam on clay. With his victory, Roger finally got the monkey (we`re talking bigfoot size) off his back. Everything was set for Roger to win his 15th grandslam and claim the most prestigious record in tennis at the Championships Wimbledon. The only man who bothered to stand in his way happened to be Andy Roddick (a man who probably would have been King had Roger not pulled his racket out of the anvil. A reference to King Arthur). After an awkward 4 hours and 18 minutes (the match reminded me of two people trying to walk through a narrow tunnel only to meet at the middle and then trying to squeeze past each other to get to their desired destinations). In the end, it was Andy who begrudgingly let Roger walk through the tunnel first, into the bright forever of tennis immortality. Now Roger has regained his number one ranking and is playing with a lot of confidence. It seems his career is far from over and who knows, maybe a lost manuscript of J.R.R. Tolkien's fourth volume of the great story will be found someday.

P.S. Sorry to the readers who don't know much about tennis. In my opinion, it is a great sport to watch and an even better one to play.