What a waste of orange juice!

You know that thing about how if life gives you a lemon, you should do an iodometric titration to determine the ascorbic acid content? Scrap that! You won't be able to determine the endpoint so you will just make up numbers which really is worse than not doing it in the first place because you are spreading lies to the world. I will pray for poor soul out there who's life is riding on the accuracy of my titration. May the marks god be with you always.

The odd man hypothesis

The odd man hypothesis claims that unmarried men make better and more logical decisions than any other category including unmarried women. Yesterday, while watching House, a counterexample was provided. Forman (unmarried man), a doctor who works for House, has feelings for 13 (unmarried woman), who also works for House. Unfortunately, 13 has Huntington's disease and she has enrolled in a clinical trial for a medicine designed to treat the symptoms of Huntington's where some people are on the drug and some are on placebos. Forman is the head researcher and accidentally realizes that 13 is on the placebo, meaning her condition may get worse and she may die sooner than later. At the end of the show, it can be seen that Forman switches the medications so that 13 can get the actual drug. This decision is illogical because he is helping one person while compromising the validity of the entire trial, which could negativly affect many more people. Of course, it is possible that the writer of the show is a married man, in which case the hypothesis would still hold. Just another thing TV can teach us.

5 gum is a fraud

So they have recently been handing out free gum in the SUB (student union building). The brand name is called "5" supposedly because it allows you to experience all five senses. Maybe they didn't think this through properly. Let's go through the five senses and see what the gum contributes to your experience.

1) Taste: a pretty obvious one as the gum tastes fruity. check.

2) Sight: the box looks cool and the wrappers are shiny and colorful. check.

3) Smell: the gum smells like what it's going to taste like. check.

4) Touch: the box is smooth with little ridges and indentations. The gum feels sticky. check.

5) Hearing: here is the problem. The gum itself provides no obvious sounds. You chewing the gum is not sound produced by the gum but rather sound produced by yourself. Until they install some little nano radio into gum, this sense is not met.

4 out of 5 is pretty good and they are giving it out for free, but I hold them to a higher standard. This is not like Red Bull claiming "it gives you wings". The stimulation of all five senses is a reasonable request and it is disappointing that it is not met.

If life gives you a lemon... part II

I have come up with a practical example of my strategy. Suppose you are a network executive, and your TV channel has many popular shows. Only problem is that people are illegally downloading or streaming these shows bypassing the commercials that earn you ad revenue. Well that is life throwing a lemon your way. What should you do about it? Should you hire a firm to disable all the illegal videos and websites? No! You'll never be able to get rid of all of them. Instead, to take advantage of the lemon, start streaming your shows on your network website. You will automatically be able to out compete the other smaller websites out there. You could easily put commercials on the website or in between breaks when the video is loading. This would definitely appeal to certain companies since the demographics are smaller and more specific. For example, college students would probably comprise a large group of potential viewers (everyone on my floor streams shows from their computer even though there is a TV in the lounge).

Sell your soul

This was the creepy sign I saw from the window of the Abdul Lahda Science Centre this afternoon. It was on a wall of a building next to the science centre. I'm pretty sure it wasn't painted as it was just faintly darker than the color of the wall. Now I feel sorry for whoever listened to the sign and became a lawyer, PCAT proctor, IB coordinator or physicist ( they definately sell their souls just to have some stupid phenomena or unit named after them. That's why physics class feels like hell for some people. Haha!)

gorilla:human::computer:?

Sorry about the format of the title. I guess the PCAT is still on my mind. Anyway, I was reading about how human brains are 3 times larger than gorilla brains in my cultural anthropology textbook. That seems pretty impressive. But if you consider the actual capabilities of a human being versus a gorilla, would you say we are imes closer, we gonly 3 times better? There must have been some point at which humans were just three times smarter than gorillas, but then we crossed some sort of line and even though our brains didn't get much bigger we have been able to achieve bigger and better things. Just think, the closest a gorilla can get to the moon is on the tallest tree in Africa. That is not nearly as close as humans got. We didn't just get three tot all the way there. This brings me to a toubling notion. If computers are really just mechanical brains (by the way computer in Chinese is literally translated as "digital brain"), how long before they reach that magical line? If you consider a human brain getting larger as just having more memory and being able to do computations faster, then computers are evolving faster than humans could ever dream of. If computers did cross that line, they would be able to manufacture the next generation of computers to be as technologically advanced as possible at the time. Thus each generation would get progressivly better until eventually all the materials on Earth are stripped bare to make more computers. Of course by then, the computers would be able to travel through space and time, eventually using up all the resources in the universe. What would be the final product of this computer evolution? Well, if you don't believe in a God, it would probably be the closest thing to it. If you do believe in a god, you don't have anything to worry about because he/she/it would probably have stopped the computers at some point (although I wouldn't kid yourself into thinking it definately would happen before they destroyed Earth). Sweet dreams.

What happens when you sleep

Last night, I was watching an Australian Open match between Roger Federer and Tomas Berdych. Berdych won the first set 6-4 and then won the second set tie-break 7-6(4) . It was around 10pm by that time and I was tired from the day of PCATing so I went to bed, expecting to wake up the next morning and read about how Federer was upset in the 4th round. Isn't it interesting that I stopped watching the game right at the worst possible moment (I am a Federer fan, so it was the worst possible moment in my opinion). Apparently, right after I went to bed, Federer somehow pulled himself from the brink of elimination and won the match in 5 sets. Now if I weren't a science and statistics student, I might just get the impression that it was me going to bed that led to Federer winning the match. Even though I know it probably won't have any effect, I'm probably going to bed a little earlier from now until the end of the Australian open. I think this situation is similar to that of global warming. Sure, it is difficult to determine whether the cause of global warming is due to human intervention, but would it really do any harm if more people recycled, conserved energy and started driving hybrid cars? Worst case scenario: nothing changes but at least nothing gets worse.

My Little Foray in the USA

As most of you know, I took the PCAT today. It was the most intense 5 and 1/2 hours of my life but I am glad that I am done. Since my parents and I left UBC around 4pm on Friday, and I wasn't driving, I didn't have much to think about. Instead I looked at the world around me. I will give you a little taste of my trip.

• Friday night, we stayed at a motel in Bellingham, Washington. That night we went to a Thai restaurant where the servings were huge (I couldn't finish half of what was on the plate). The following morning, we woke up at 7 am and ate breakfast at an IHOP. Again the servings were huge and I couldn't finish it all (although I wasn't very hungry due to anxiety). I noticed on the menu that they served a 12 ounce fried steak. How unhealthy can that be? The US is probably the only country in the world where Asian people become fat because Asian senses force you to finish everything on the plate
• That night, after the Thai restaurant, we went to Fred Meyers and bought some energy bars for the next day. At Fred Meyers I noticed how available alcohol was. There was beer, kegs, red wine, white wine, vodka, rum etc. And they were all so cheap (not that I know how much beer costs. I assume that $2.99 for a bottle of wine is cheap though.) It must be pretty easy for Asian people to become alcoholics as well.
• After we returned from Fred Meyer (a large can of beer in my dad's hand) to the motel, I watched TV for a little bit. There was Discovery channel and so we watched that. On Dirty Jobs, there was a segment about recycling dead cows (ones that die from natural causes). Don't worry, they won't go to waste. It's someone's job to inflate cows like a balloon and then cut off their hides (think about that next time you wear leather). It`s another person`s job to then place the skinned cow into a pulverizer that literally tears it to shreds. If you are reading this and feel disgusted, imagine how I felt watching it. If cows had a movie version of Saw, this would be it. While I was watching this, I realized it probably wasn`t such a great omen to see such death and decay before the biggest exam of your life. But I thought: What the hay! Haha. Cow joke.
• When I went to sleep that night, I noticed the bed was too short. The blanket was tucked in tight so my toes kept pushing against the end of the blanket. It was very uncomfortable. Speaking of uncomfortable, I experienced a perfect storm of noise that basically kept me awake for most of the night. First, since the motel was right next to a highway, I was serenaded with a chorus of cars schreeching by. My dad, a prolific snorer, fell asleep faster than any of us, even though he later proclaimed that he waited until we fell asleep first. I was amazed at the amazing variety of gutteral sounds one could produce in there sleep. Too bad we don`t use any of them in everyday language. Lastly, there was a party going on in the motel room next door (who parties at a Motel 6 in Bellingham, Washington anway?) Knowing I had to wake up at 7 am the next morning didn`t lull me to sleep as much as you might think. Amazingly, I eventually fell asleep although I woke up a couple of times during the night.
• Now, up to this point I hadn`t seen many, if any Asian people in Bellingham, Washington (I wasn`t exactly looking for them though). When I got to the testing centre, I realized why. Everyone there was Asian. Literally everyone. Well, there was one white kid. But when we went into the testing centre, he left and never came back. I guess he realized pharmacy wasn`t for him.
  
• As I was leaving, I noticed how nice the campus at Western Washington University was. It was probably smaller than the UBC campus, but all the facilities looked pretty new. I was especially impressed with the nice public tennis courts (There must have been 6 courts side by side, painted like the courts at the Australian Open. It didn`t say Australian Open on it though.) I might be a little biased because there were these really good tennis players rallying on one of the courts. Why is it that in Canada, the people who use public tennis courts are always horrible (and sometimes shirtless)?

The day before THE DAY

As I am writing this, I should probably be nervous. It would be totally natural. I am about to write a 4 and 1/2 hour exam tomorrow morning (8:30 am) that may determine my future. I don't mean good future or bad future. I mean the path that I will take through life may change irreversibly thanks to this test. Tests have never had that much importance before this point and they probably won't have as much importance after this point. At this point, I can pin my calmness to two factors. First the test, while long and thoroughly comprehensive, is not weighted as heavily as grades in the application process. I am also consoled by the fact that the program I am applying for only looks at a percentile score. A 95 percentile score is much easier to get than 95% on the test. (The scaled score ranges from 100 to 600, with a mean of 400 and a standard deviation of 30. This means that if you get 450, you are already at the 95th percentile). Secondly, I feel that it is too late to do anything and it is out of my hands. This is probably a natural human response to stress. Just think, if they told you tomorrow that global warming was past the point of no return, wouldn't you feel a bit relieved that its solution no longer depended on your green efforts or lack there of.

The playoffs aren't really worth it ( in certain cases)

That may seems a little paradoxical since the whole purpose of major team sports is to get into the playoffs so you can win the championship. However, I think it is a perfectly legitimate point to bring up. Consider the chances of winning the championship. Most leagues let around 8 teams in to the playoffs from each conference, the NFL lets in 6 and MLB lets in 4. Take for example the Vancouver Canucks, if they get into the playoffs, who would have a 1 in 16 chance of winning the Stanley Cup. Except, that isn't really the case since not all teams are built equal. It looks like teams such as San Jose and Boston will get into the playoffs as heavy favorites. And teams like the Canucks will barely make it. This sets up a very likely first round exit from the playoffs. Actually if you consider not winning the Stanley Cup as negative, losses in any round would be considered negative, while there would only be one positive. This makes it very unlikely to have a positive finish in the playoffs, especially if you are the 8th seed in your conference. However, there is a very definite positive in not making the playoffs. The draft order is determined by giving the worst teams the first picks. Early first round picks are very valuable because they have so much upside and so little cost. Unlike teams that make a long playoff run only to lose, the teams that don't make the playoffs have a positive addition to the team (whereas teams that lose in the Stanley Cup Final often lose many of their core players i.e. Pittsburgh lost Hossa and Malone without a substantial draftpick) Also, it seems that losing when you are so close only adds to the diappointment felt by the fans. Just look at the riots after the Canucks lost to the Rangers in the 1994 Stanley Cup Final. Of course, there are several counter arguments you could make. First of all, I suppose the faint possibility of winning it all is worth the risk. Second, long playoff runs make the team a lot of money and give the fans something to watch. Playoff runs may also give much needed experience to young stars ready to lead their teams in the future. And even with what I have just said, I in no way, shape or form want to the Canucks to miss the playoffs, although if they did tank and end up drafting John Tavares, I wouldn't be that sad either.

Judge a movie by its name

As some of you might know, the academy awards nominations were given today. You can see the full list of nominees here: http://www.oscar.com/nominees/?pn=nominees

I am a bit disappointed that the Dark Knight did not get any big nominations besides the obvious best supporting actor nomination for Heath Ledger. I think if the academy only voted based on best names, the Dark Knight would definitely have secured an Oscar nomination for best picture. It just seems cool and besides, its the only batman movie ever not to have the name batman in the title. I think that legitimized it a little right there.

Speaking of names, I think I will judge the best picture nominations this year based on name alone. The nominees are:

The Reader: What a boring name and ambiguous name. Is this an M. Night Shayamalan movie? Can you believe this movie is about Nazi Germany and the Holocaust. Speaking of which, it seems the Holocaust is the perfect subject matter if you are aiming to win an Oscar.

Slumdog Millionaire: This is a much better title. I like the juxtaposition of the two words which come to describe the movie perfectly.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: Despite its similarities to Forrest Gump, this movie has a much better name. The title credits should actually go to F. Scott Fitzgerald (of The Great Gatsby fame) since the story was based on his short story. That's why the title seems eerily anachronistic.

Milk: Again, this is quite ambiguous although the name is a little more original than The Reader. The story is actually about Harvey Milk, an openly gay politician who was tragically assassinated. With a name like Milk, you'd think the movie would actually have something to do with milk. How about the story of the first person to drink cow milk? In a land before time, one man had the courage to go where no man had ever gone before. From the people who brought you those annoying commercials with the cavemen telling people to drink milk and directed by Steven Spielberg, Milk. Coming to a theater near you.

Frost/Nixon: Another movie with people's names as the title. Although, you have to give them credit for adding the slash in between. That really brought out the contrast between the interviewer and the interviewee (sarcastic sigh).

Chinese people like McDonalds

The following is a transcript of what I heard as I was walking to my dorm room today:

person A: Man, Chinese people love McDonalds.

person B: Don't you think that is a big generalization?

person A: Just look in a McDonalds some time, there are so many Chinese people in there.

I have two replies to this:

1) I am Chinese and I despise McDonalds. I have not had a fast food meal like that for years. That right there is a counterexample to your theory.

2) Just because you see a group of people somewhere does not mean that they like being there. If you went to a jail, you might see a lot of criminals. Does that mean they like being in jail? If you see a bunch of geeks huddled in the corner, does that mean they like standing in the corner. Besides, you see a lot of Chinese people everywhere. That certainly doesn't mean Chinese people like being everywhere, even if they would like to take advantage of everything.

Where's all the creativity gone? part II

I saw this great video about the similarities between Forrest Gump and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Here it is:

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

This got me thinking, there are probably a lot of similarities between any two movies if you think about it. Take for example Harry Potter and Star Wars.

Let`s start with the plots:

Both movies have a male protagonist (Harry in HP and Luke or Anakin)
Both protagonists initially lived with their aunt and uncle
Both movies are about a normal boy who is whisked off on a fantastic adventure to discover the power within
Both protagonists wield a weapon shaped like a baton (Harry with a wand, Luke with a light saber)
Both protagonists are considered the chosen one
The fathers of both characters were very powerful (Harry`s father was a great wizard, Anakin became Darth Vader)
Both protagonists have a male and a female friend (Harry has Ron and Hermione, Luke has Han Solo and Princess Leia)
There is sexual tension at times between different combinations of the three friends (Ron and Hermione, Princess Leia kissed Luke but then they realized they were related so she fell in love with Han Solo)
The heroes and villains weapons look identical except they are different colors (In the Goblet of Fire, the sparks coming out of the wands of Harry and Voldemort were different colors, when Luke fights Darth Vader, their light sabers are different colors)
Both protagonists have an old white haired advisor who teaches them to harness their power (Harry has Dumbledore, Luke has Yoda)
Both stories have an ultimate villain who looks pale and zombie-like (voldemort in Harry Potter, Darth Sidious in Star Wars)
Both protagonists have a hairy friend (Harry has Hagrid, Luke has Chewbacca)
Both protagonists can move things with touching them (Luke with the force, Harry with magic)

Now onto some general things:

Both movies are actually a long series of movies (Harry Potter will ulitmately have 7 movies, Star Wars have 6 episodes)
Both movie series are wildly successful ( Harry Potter movies have made $4.5 billion world wide, Star Wars has made $4.3 billion world wide)

Nature vs. Nurture

In my psychology class, I have been learning about this concept of nature vs. nurture. There seems to be a fundamental debate in psychology regarding whether humans are born to behave a certain way or if it is the environment they are in that causes their behavior. I have thought of a counterexample to the concept that nature defines who we are. As a Chinese person, I find it odd that I am not good at any of the typically Chinese sports such as table tennis, badminton or even gymnastics (it is definitely a sport since it was in the Olympics. By the way, I have never tried gymnastics but I'm assuming I would suck at it). You may say that this is a bad example because you have to learn the sports before you can get good at them. What's the point of evolution if you can't pass on your ultimate sports skills to your child? Just look at Yao Ming. His parents were both basketball players and now he is a good basketball player. Actually, I remember in grade 5 when my gym teacher first introduced us to table tennis. I remember he said something like he has a "natural" knack for the game. Of course, my gym teacher was white and I thought I sucked pretty bad ( maybe Chinese people only inherit terribly high standards for yourself). Although now that I think of it, I guess my body shape is pretty typical of ping pong and badminton players (tall and lanky). You see, Chinese people generally tend to stay away from sports requiring alot of strength and physical contact like American football or ice hockey (maybe it's just the fact that the equipment for these two sports are more expensive than for other sports). Chinese people aren't even very good at tennis because our bodies aren't built to hit that ball that much further.

Where's all the creativity gone?

The title of this article refers mainly to the entertainment industry which includes movies and TV. There seem to be fewer and fewer original movies and TV shows while there seem to be more and more sequels, adapted or inspired work. I'm not saying these movies and TV shows lack quality (some of them do), it's just that they begin to get monotonous. Take for example one genre of movies, comic book movies. Ever since the popularity of Spiderman, more and more comic book movies are being made ( for example, Hellboy II, Iron man, The Dark Knight, The Spirit all came out this year). Soon, they will run out of good comic book characters and we will have to watch movies about Banshee or Starfire (both are actual comic book characters). In a similar regard, American Idol kind of jumpstarted the reality talent competition genre. I also dispise the fact that more and more sequels are coming out. The Shrek movies could probably go on until infinity and still make a ton of money each time. However, that doesn't mean there should be such a large number of sequels. The only good sequels are ones in which each movie is part of a larger story like Star Wars or Lord of the Rings. I think movie and TV producers should try to be as original as possible. Just think about the future. If you keep adapting existing stuff, what will the movie and tv producers of the future adapt their stuff on?

Oh Canada

As a Canadian, I am proud to live in this country of ours. The living conditions, the scenery and the people are all very nice. However, for some reason I feel that Canada as a country is not very assertive. I don't mean in terms of going to war. I would rather do with out any of that. I mean in terms of relations with the United States. Ah, the good old United States of America. Apple pie, baseball and Jesus, what more do you need? Anyway, as Pierre Trudeau once said, "it's like sleeping with an elephant. No matter how friendly and even-tempered is the beast, if I can call it that, one is affected by every twitch and grunt." And to make matters worse, this elephant gets mood swings every 4 to 8 years. To give you an example of how the US dominates us, just look at the major sports. The NHL and NBA are both called national leagues, but the last time I checked national refers to one country. Unfortunately, both of these leagues have Canadian teams. Another example can be seen at the box office. When a studio releases its figures for domestic total, this includes the money made by the film in Canada. Last time I checked, domestic refers to one country as well. By this line of reasoning, our GDP could just have gotten 14 trillion dollars better.

Shakespeare must be rolling in his grave

As I was driving home from UBC, I heard a song on the radio that annoyed me a little bit. It is a song by Taylor Swift and here are the lyrics:

we were both young when I first saw you
I close my eyes
and the flashback starts
I`m standing there
on a balcony of summer air

see the lights,
see the party the ball gowns
I see you make your way through the crowd
you say hello
little did I know

that you were romeo you were throwing pebbles
and my daddy said stay away from juliet
and I was crying on the staircase
begging you please don’t go, and I said

romeo take me somewhere we can be alone
I’ll be waiting all there`s left to do is run
you’ll be the prince and I’ll be the princess
its a love story baby just say yes

so I sneak out to the garden to see you
we keep quiet because we’re dead if they know
so close your eyes
lets keep this down for a little while
cause you were romeo I was a scarlet letter
and my daddy said stay away from Juliet
but you were everything to me
and I was begging you please don’t go and I said

romeo take me somewhere we can be alone
I’ll be waiting all theres left to do is run
you be the prince and I’ll be the princess
its a love story baby just say yes

Romeo save me, don’t try to tell me how it feels
this love is difficult, but its so real
don’t be afraid we’ll make it out of this mess
its a love story baby just say yes,

Oh, oh

I got tired of waiting
wondering if you were ever coming around
my faith in you was fading
when i met you on the outskirts of town, and I said

Romeo save me I’ve been feeling so alone
I keep waiting for you but you never come
is this in my head, I don’t know what to think
he knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring

marry me Juliet you’ll never have to be alone
i love you and that`s all I really know
i talked to your dad you’ll pick out the white dress
its a love story baby just say yes
oh, oh, yes
we were still young when I first saw you

I admit that with music the song wasn`t that bad, but that`s not the point. If you`re going to base your song off Romeo and Juliet, what`s this about a happy ending? Did you ever read Romeo and Juliet. Do you realize both of them died at the end? The whole point of Romeo and Juliet was the impossibility of their love due to a feud between their families. In this song, Juliet`s father is picking out a dress for her wedding to Romeo. Besides, what kind of father picks out his daughter`s wedding dress? I understand that she probably didn`t write it herself and that this is all done in the name of profitability, but there should be limits. What if I wrote a song about the Great Gatsby where Daisy agreed that she only loved Jay and they lived happily ever after? Or maybe I should write a song about King Lear where he agreed that Cordelia was right and he didn`t banish her from his kingdom? You may be wondering why I am defending English, but perhaps not taking any English courses this year has made me miss it a little. Just a little, not enough to actually take an English class ever again.

Every story has two sides

By now, you have all heard of the dramatic landing by a commercial airliner on the Hudson river in New York. Apparently, the engine exploded after hitting a flock of geese. Everyone is praising the pilot, Sully Sullenberger, for his quick action and heroism. He probably deserves it, but there are some scenarios I can think of that if made public could ruin his reputation:

1) After taking off from the airport, Sully turns to his copilot and says,"Bet you a hundred bucks I could hit that flock of geese over there."

2) After taking off from the airport, Sully turns to his copilot and says,"I've heard you guys talking about me in the lunch room. Oh, don't act like you don't known what I'm talking about. You guys think Sully is a girls name. I'll show you how much of a man I am."

3) After taking off from the airport, Sully turns to his copilot and says,"Man, I just turned 50 years old and everybody forgot my birthday. What does a guy have to do around here to get some attention.

I've turned pro!

Apparently, I have officially earned 1 cent from my blogging. Thanks to everyone who looked at my blog. Hopefully, many more cents will come in the future. Too bad they don't give you any money until you have collected $100 worth of revenue. Looks like it's going to be a long wait.

What happened to you science? You used to be cool.

What has happened to you indeed? The aura surrounding science seems to have faded with the more science courses I take. What I once thought was designing space ships and curing cancer has now turned into studying protozoa reproduction and string theory. It's not just that what we are studying now is not as cool as I imagined it would be when I was younger, it's also that the job opportunities with science are not that great either. The majority of science students probably want to get into some graduate program involving medicine in one way or another. However, due to the high competition, the majority of people probably end up as post doctoral fellows at some crappy college somewhere (actually the majority of these students probably get a job that has nothing to do with science and realize during their mid life crisis what a waste of time and money it was to get a science degree). Anyway, I'm not planning to do anything other than science so you'll probably see me at Feather River College (it's an actual college in California but I'm not sure if it does any scientific research) sometime in the future.

If life gives you a lemon...

Most of you probably know how to finish this sentence. However, I have some better ideas about what should be done with that lemon.

1) Asian method: So, you've just gotten a lemon for free. Good job. Now instead of making lemonade, take out the lemon seeds and plant them. Wait for the seeds to grow into new lemon trees. Continue the process until you have a whole lemon orchard. Harvest the lemons each year and then process them into lemonade using a manufacturing plant next to the orchard. Sell the lemonade to retailers and gain a hefty profit.

2) Scientific method: Take the lemon, split it into pieces and heat each piece to a different temperature. Use iodometric titration to determine the effects of temperature on the degradation of vitamin C (ascorbic acid).

So what if I've sold out

You may notice ads on the side of the blog now. That is because yesterday as I was finishing up the blog I noticed a money sign link. Asian senses told me to click on it. Turns out, it is called adsense and depending on how many clicks or views the ads get I could potentially get money. I'd like to emphasize potentially. I'm pretty sure a small blog like this would never make any money but whatever, it's the possibility that's exciting. By the way, don't click on the ads just to make me money. That is technically illegal according to Google. Besides, you don't have anything to lose except my friendship (just kidding, sort of).

Canadian athletes better start eating their Wheaties

Recently there was a commercial created by VANOC that showed the story of an inspirational winter athlete. The commercial finished with the following words "She hopes to be the first Canadian to win a gold medal on Canadian soil." Is this supposed to be inspirational? Canada has hosted 2 Olympic games, 1 summer in Montreal and 1 winter in Calgary. That's almost a combined total of 400 events and they couldn't muster a single gold medal? This is not to disparage the Canadian athletes as they are clearly just as physically fit and train just as hard as any other group of athletes. The problem seems to be the government and funding that's given to support amateur sports (the type of sports Olympic events focus on). I remember another commercial, this one by Rona that said they employ over 300 Olympic athletes or something to that nature. Is this supposed to be a good thing? How much does a job at Rona pay? Do you think this is enough to support training and equipment for these athletes? While in some countries Olympic athletes are given millions of dollars to train and millions more if the athletes win, Canadian athletes have to worry about their mortgage and paying their bills. Is this a good mindset to be in when you are about to jump off a diving platform? I don't think so. If the Canadian government doesn't change its attitudes quickly, our "glowing hearts" will atrophied from disappointment by the end of the 2010 winter games.

I feel like I'm in a M. Night Shyamalan movie

First of all, you should give me props for actually looking up his name instead of totally butchering it. Second, the reason I feel like I'm in one of his movies is because of the heavy fog that has blanketed the UBC campus. The fog has given the campus a very eerie mood to it, a mood that is used in many of his movies. If you are not aware of his movies, I will list some of them for you:

The Sixth Sense: A movie in which a kid purportedly sees dead people. A psychiatrist comes to investigate and seems to help the kid only to find that he is dead himself.

Signs: Aliens invade the world. In the climax, a character finds out that water harms the aliens and saves the world.

The village: People live in a village in 19th century America only to discover that it is actually the present day.

The happening: People mysteriously commit suicide until it is realized that toxins secreted by plants are doing the damage.

There, I have just ruined 4 movies for you if you have not watched them before. As you can see, M. Night uses a lot of plot twists; however, I have noticed that the quality of his movies has declined considerably since the Sixth Sense. If he were to make a movie about the fog around UBC, it would probably be called "the fog" or "the mist" or "phenomena". It might have something to do with aliens or dead people in a crazy elaborate plot, and only until the very last minute would be realize that it was all a dream. This is the cliche of all plot twists and he is bound to use it eventually as he is using up plot twists at an alarming rate.

To help you kill the time

Some people seem to want me to blog everyday. Unfortunately, blogging isn't high on my priority list. To give you something to read, I will post another story I am working on. I don't have a name for it or anything but enjoy:

Brazzaville, Republic of the Congo
Doctor Régis Melanbo hesitated before the congested intersection, pressing the paper wrapped package tighter against his abdomen. Beads of sweat tricked down his long, dark face; beading below the dense, knotted hairs of his beard. Cars whizzed past him, swerving from lane to lane in search of the fastest route to reach their destinations. Local and foreign businessmen brushed past him on the way to their important meetings or engagements or to have some fun at the local brothels. Everyone seemed to be in perpetual motion except for him.

Melanbo suddenly sensed that something was amiss. The throng of pedestrians continued on their way, oblivious to his instincts of danger. An inspection of the crowd was futile so when the stoplight turned green, he furtively walked across the street, dodging cars that failed to stop in time or didn’t stop at all. After stepping onto the sidewalk, Melanbo turned and glanced back at where he had just stood, unable to shake the feeling erupting from within. Making sure the package was still in his grasp; he walked up to a modern office building with a sign that read Brazzaville Postal Services in faded green letters. A cool rush of air greeted him as he entered the well air-conditioned room. Just like the streets outside, the interior of the post office was a hotbed of commotion. The line for package drop off had already wound around several times, resembling a coiled snake ready to pounce. Everyone seemed to be in a hurry except for the few street kids standing by the corner, happy to escape the blistering heat if just for a moment.
The doctor had no other choice but to wait in line like all the others. He certainly did not want to provoke anyone into making a scene, especially one that separated him from the crowd. The consternation still hung over him as he inched his way through line, sweat continuing to bead despite the air conditioning. When he finally reached the front and heaved his package onto the counter, the attendant could only stare at him.

“How may I help you sir?” the attendant remarked in his thick French accent.

“I would like this package mailed as soon as possible, “he replied.

“Sir, the size of your package means that we will have to send it via a private courier. That will cost a little extra but it will also guarantee a speedy delivery. If you would just step to the counter on the other side of the room so you can fill in the paper work.”

Melanbo hesitated before saying, “I have been standing in this line for over half an hour. I recently had knee surgery and I feeling some discomfort. If we could just get this done right here, that would be most appreciated.”

“I suppose that would be no problem,” the attendant replied as he walked across the room and picked up the paper work. “Now if you would just sign here,” the attendant indicated with his finger “and here. No need to worry, just a standard waiver in case something unfortunate happens during the delivery.” The attendant smiled, his thick lips curling in an attempt to ease worries. Melanbo signed the waivers, tipped the attendant and hastily walked out of the cool oasis into the blazing heat of the African summer.

As soon as he stepped onto the dirt-covered sidewalk, Melanbo noticed the sleek black SUV parked a block away, it`s tinted windows hiding the danger within. In such an impoverished neighbourhood, the luxury car stood out like a black panther in the desert. Before he could turn around and run, the SUV had already begun speeding toward him, creating a billowing cloud of dust in its wake. Melanbo sped along the walkways, sidestepping vendors and pedestrians, and listened to the commotion behind him as the SUV made its way through the congested street. The screams of dissatisfaction became louder and louder, closer and closer. Suddenly, Melanbo made a move by cutting through the crowd to his right and ducked into an alleyway behind the local cinema. Street kids sneaking into the theatre through the back quickly spotted his presence and ran off, fearing he was a policeman.
Exhausted by the most strenuous exercise he had done in years, Melanbo hid behind the corner of the building and snuck a peek at the bustling street from which he had just escaped. The black SUV was now parked, and tuxedoed men with machine guns stepped out and began to walk across the road towards him. As he turned around to run the other way, he smashed into something solid, knocking the wind out of him momentarily and sending him to the ground. When he finally came to his senses, the barrel of a machine gun was pressed against his temple, held in place by the largest man he had ever seen. Those hulking shoulders, the bulging veins and all neatly packaged in an elegant tuxedo. It was all quite a sight. As Melanbo closed his eyes in anticipation, he almost laughed at the thought that the tuxedoed behemoth would be the last image he would ever see. Off in the distance, he heard someone yell, ``We need him alive” Just as Melanbo opened his eyes he saw a massive hand moving towards his face, gripping a bunched up piece of cloth. By the time he realized what was happening, the smell had already engulfed him. A deep haze drifted over his consciousness, and then everything went black.

He was first awakened by the lively chatter inside the cabin but it was the bouncing SUV that shook him out of his stupor. He immediately realized that his hands and feet had been bound together using thick metal chains.

``We made sure you wouldn`t get any ideas,” a hearty voice boomed. Melanbo was startled to see a heavy-set man sitting to his right. ``Now you have some explaining to do. Tell us who you sent it to. It is very valuable to us, to the general. You wouldn`t want to upset him now would you.”

Still in a drug induced daze, Melanbo replied, ``I don`t know what you are talking about.”

``Let`s not play this game. If you do not tell us, I guess we will just have to coax it out of you.” The heavyset man produced a cloth sac. Something squirmed violently within it. ``Do you like snakes, doctor? As he said this, the man loosened the opening and placed the sac on Melanbo`s lap. Slowly, a silver serpent slithered out of the opening, its forked tongue tasting the air.

``She is beautiful, isn`t she. You should consider yourself lucky. Few people ever get to come this close to a black mamba. Most people are afraid of snakes but what they don`t realize is that snakes are just as afraid of people. They never attack unless aggravated.” As he said this, the man grabbed a metal hook and flung the snake in the air. As it landed, the mamba coiled back before darting forward and biting Melanbo`s neck, just above his clavicle. Melanbo let out a primal scream as he seethed in pain. The mamba eventually let go but the searing pain persisted.
As he recaptured the mamba using his metal hook, the heavyset man continued, ``Let me explain to you what will happen in the next minutes. You will first experience tingling in your mouth and nose. This is followed by confusion, loss of muscle coordination, severe abdominal pain, and foaming of the mouth. Without any medical attention, you will eventually experience convulsions, respiratory arrest and then death. This is of course if you do not take anti-venom immediately, which I fortunately just happen to have.” The man took out a small glass vial filled with clear liquid. “All you have to do is tell us what we want to know.”

“I don`t know what you`re talking about.”

“Don`t be stupid. The longer you wait, the more permanent the damage.”

“Go to hell!” Melanbo mumbled incoherently.

“Alright, you`ve made your choice. Stop the car.” The man began unravelling the chains until they lay slumped in a pile at the bottom of Melanbo`s feet. He opened the passenger side door and with a swift push sent Melango tumbling into the road side bushes.

“Don`t bother looking for help. There isn`t a village for miles, let alone a hospital. See you in hell, brother.” With this, the door slammed shut and the SUV roared off into the distance, once again leaving a cloud of dust and exhaust.

This is just the first chapter of potentially many chapters if I ever get the time.

Change your magnification

If you are in a bit of a rut or a little down on life, I have a science analogy that may help. Imagine you are zooming in a photograph with infinite detail using a microscope. When you first look into the microscope, you see an insect's head. The compound eyes, hair and antennae repulse you and so you look away. You do not go back to look because you know it will still be ugly. But wait, what if someone changes the magnification of the microscope. When you look this time you see the beautiful rainbow of colors reflected off the insects carapace. Then someone changes the magnification again and now you see the full image. It is a beautiful scene of a butterfly landing on a flower in a meadow. Three different magnifications each with a different view. If you had just stuck at the first magnification, you would have never discovered the beauty the photo could provide. So change your perspective on the world, you might just discover something beautiful.

Time to get serious

So I know most of you probably read this blog for entertainment value and honestly, most of the time, I write this blog for entertainment. However, this is one time when I would like to get serious. There are a lot of things out there that can harm us. Unfortunately,cancer is one of them. You know what else used to hurt us? Polio and small pox. You know why they don't anymore? It's because research allowed us to find vaccines and effective treatments. Don't kid yourself into thinking this can't be done with cancer. So on that sad note, I would like you all to consider the people in your lives who might have dealt with some form of cancer. Consider how you would feel if one of your loved ones or friends was diagnosed with cancer. This is something we can prevent. All it takes is research. Unfortunately, like everything else in life, research takes money ( a lot of money if you actually want to find a cure). So the point of this post was to encourage you to think about doing something about this. This could be as simple as learning more about cancer, or donating money to fund research. You could also be more involved and become one of the researchers looking for a cure or start your own fundraisers in your community. Anything is better than nothing.

The following are some links for more information if you are interested:
http://www.chordomafoundation.org/ : this is a foundation devoted to a specific type of cancer which one of my friends was diagnosed with. Since it is rare, government funding is low and contributions would be greatly appreciated.

cbcf.org: Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation

www.cancer.ca : Canadian Cancer Society

What's happened to the news?

So, if you picked up today's edition of the 24hours (Thursday Jan 8, 2009), did you notice the lack of actual news that is on the front cover. Sure, you may argue that 24 hours to newspapers is like Carrot Top to comedians, as in most people wouldn't see/read it even it if it is free. Just look at some of the headlines (these are directly from the front page):

1. "Just do it-later? It's called procrastination and we all do it" This front page headline (the one with the biggest picture)is not news. It is merely a fact of life. Isn`t news supposed to enlighten us? Besides, according to the headline, most people wouldn`t even get the newspaper because they keep putting it off until later.

2. "Turf wars leave kids vulnerable" When do wars not leave children vulnerable (unless it is a design war between companies making kid-sized indestructible armor)?

3. "News: Alex G. Tsakumis moves to Thursdays in 24 hours" What's so bad about this headline is that is starts with the word news although it is absolutely useless information to most people. It is also very confusing as one could ask: "So, is Alex Tsakumis moving to Thursdays 24 hours from the moment I got the newspaper or from the moment Thursday began?"

Paris Hilton's IQ is 125. Are you smarter than Paris?

I'm not sure about you but I have been annoyed by those ads on the internet that post a question similar to the title of this post. I have never and will never take part in that IQ test because it will probably download a virus onto my computer or charge me for something I didn't buy. Another reason is that I don't want to be dumber than Paris Hilton. Sure the IQ of 125 is probably arbitrary and I could always say that I went to University and she didn't (a reality show called "The smart life: Paris goes to college" doesn't count. By the way, don't bother looking that up as it's not a real show. It if ever became one, I should be able to sue). Besides, the whole idea of an IQ is kind of messed up. A high IQ simply means you can learn things better because you have a better memory and can see patterns easier. However, in all practicality,useful knowledge needs to be learned and if you put a genius in a box from birth (of course there would be food and a place to sleep since this is not torture. Also the intelligence of the genius could not be described by a wave function. That last sentence was a shout out to all the Chem nerds out there)they would not come out more useful than any of us who have gone to school for most of our lives. Thus, those people who point out they have an IQ of 170 or whatever as a way of displaying their superiority are really douche bags because that arbitrary number does not actually display how useful they are to society. And if fictional TV shows have taught us anything, it's that geniuses are often physically weak (from "Malcolm in the Middle" and "the Big Bang Theory"). Thus the genius douche bags are even less useful because they can't do a lot of the stuff they think about with their high powered brain. It's like if you put an Intel computer chip in a toaster. Would the toaster make toast faster? Perhaps. Would the toast taste better? Perhaps. Would the toast tell you what the weather is like in Nepal? Not likely. That was basically the long way of me saying how IQ tests are overrated. Perhaps they should overhaul IQ tests and set them up as problem solving exercises that could actually happen in real life. I don't know how theses problems should be set up but somehow they should make it harder for the genius douchebags to get a high IQ to prove once and for all that they are not as useful as they might like to think. Just a note to any geniuses reading this. This was written out of jealousy and jealousy is the greatest form of flattery.

Horrible (yet humorous) ways to meet your end

1. As you look out the window of your office building, you see a jumbo jet getting closer. When the jet gets close enough, you see the sign on the front of the plane that reads "If you can read this, you are about to die"

2. You die from a heart attack after some television personality tells you that you have won 10 million dollars. The TV show later realizes that they went to the wrong house.

3. As you jump off a platform during a bungee jump you hear someone in the background ask "Aren't these supposed to be connected?"

Not all suicide notes look the same

The provocative title to this post was from a commercial about how dangerous eating disorders can become. On a more humorous note, I am referring the act known as academic suicide (which to some people *cough* Asians! *cough* is basically the same as suicide since without education you will be stuck in a useless career for the rest of your life). There are two variants to academic suicide: the short way and the long way. The short way is well known and heavily prevented by most academic institutions. It is of course intellectual dishonesty or as most people know it, cheating. The long way, much less prevented, is the path I find myself in at the moment(do not worry about my safety as I am only speaking metaphorically, at the moment anyway). I like to call this method over-achiever syndrome, which is just as dangerous but only develops after a period of time under certain conditions. These circumstances include: taking too many courses, taking courses you already got credit for just in case there was something you could miss out on, taking 3 hour blocks of night courses, studying for extracurricular reasons such as the PCAT to get into pharmacy school. Unfortunately, this semester is a perfect storm of all 4 conditions for me. Also unfortunately, if I get into the pharmacy program my semesters will become more and more loaded with courses (up above 40 credits). Alas, even my summers will be riddled with courses and internships. While I will probably get through this all and be able to laugh at it one day (hopefully not a crazy laugh), I just had my first night class and it is not sitting very well with me. Let's first forget that it is 3 hours long at night. The professor who teaches the course (I'm not going to mention his/her name because I am not stupid and do not want to commit academic suicide the fast way)annoys me very much. It is not the fact that he will not give us his email to contact him, did not even introduce himself until 1 and a half hours into the lecture and shuns all technology save for the overhead projector. No, the thing that annoys me is that is how this professor speaks and surprisingly it is not his/her accent. It is the fact that he/she speaks in the slowest manner I can possibly imagine. I mean literally 15 seconds between sentences. And it is not like he/she pauses and then strings together words eloquently like say Barack Obama. He/She completes a mundane sentence after a 15 second pause with a phrase like "Of course this is up for interpretation." It is also agonizing to wait for the words to come because you don't know when they will and instead you are left watching his/her annoying facial gestures (like he/she is thinking really really hard) only to have that come out of his/her mouth. Does it seem like I am ranting? That is the first sign of overachiever syndrome.

the √3 poem

This is an awesome poem from Harold and Kumar escape from Guantanamo Bay, enjoy:

I’m sure that I will always be
A lonely number like root three

The three is all that’s good and right,
Why must my three keep out of sight
Beneath the vicious square root sign,
I wish instead I were a nine

For nine could thwart this evil trick,
with just some quick arithmetic

I know I’ll never see the sun, as 1.7321
Such is my reality, a sad irrationality

When hark! What is this I see,
Another square root of a three

As quietly co-waltzing by,
Together now we multiply
To form a number we prefer,
Rejoicing as an integer

We break free from our mortal bonds
With the wave of magic wands

Our square root signs become unglued
Your love for me has been renewed

Thank goodness for non- Asian parents!

So I am currently snowed in right now and I have had a lot of time to think. I am stressing out about the PCAT (test to get into pharmacy school) which is coming up soon. The career of a pharmacist was of course first introduced to me by my Asian parents. This is nothing against Asian parents as it is clear how hard they work so their children will live a better life than they did. This often involves pushing their children into high paying professions such as medicine, law, dentistry, business, engineering etc. What would happen if every Asian child were actually able to get into these careers? Not only would these professional schools be over crowded but there would also be no Asians left to do any of the other lower paying jobs. For example, how can you perform surgery if someone doesn't build a hospital, clean the floors and equipment, or make your surgical scrubs etc (also without Asians there would be fewer people coming to the hospital to take advantage of the free health care). The only fact that makes me sleep soundly at night knowing this won't be a problem is the fact that non-Asian parents are generally much more lenient as to their child's career path. This is nothing against non-Asian parents either as it shows how much they care about their child's happiness in allowing them to make their own choice. Fortunately for us, these choices are often misguided and they end up working the lower paying jobs to support themselves. Two parenting methods that together keep the world running smoothly. Good job parents!