Things I think in the heat

1. Maybe the constant heat wave would be good motivation for some people to cut down on green house emmissions. Nothing like unbearable heat for an extended period of time to really impress upon people the validity of global warming. Then again, people might just wait out the heat by blasting their airconditioner to max where ever they are.

2. Mighty good time for a solar eclipse, eh? Those lucky Asian bastards.

3. Someone should invent some device to keep your car cool while it's outside in the sun (those infommercial ones don't count).

4. If I were a plant right now, all would be well. Light reactions, anyone?

5. It's hard to think in the heat (notice how my thoughts are getting shorter)

6. How does my cat survive with a fur coat on all the time? Maybe I should trim it down.

That's not my cat by the way. I wouldn't be that cruel.

7. Someone should make a cold treat that doesn't make you feel guilty when you eat it in large quantities (I don't care so much about becoming fat as say becoming unhealthy which can happen to anyone)

8. I saw some bikers in white spandex (or some other type of skin tight clothing) riding along the highway. They sure are lucky their sponsers decided to go with a white as opposed to a black jersey.

9. Manufacturers of solar panels must be cursing under their breath on days like these. Not enough sunny days in Vancouver to warrant the installation? Here are your @#$%^&$* sunny days. Go shove it up your $#@%&.

Heirs to the throne?

Congradulations to Roger and Mirka Federer on the birth of their twin girls. Due to their father's lofty achievements, the girls already have expectations of becoming great tennis players. Most of these expectations are expressed in a joking tone like Andy Roddick's twitter comment: "Introducing the 2029-2040 Wimbledon women's champions, the Federer girls..". Afterall, they are just a day old (or young might be more appropriate). On the other hand, there are already some gambling sites (mostly in the UK) who have already put wagers and odds on the girls winning Wimbledon before their 25th birthdays (1-100 if you wanted to know).

This gets me to the much broader topic of children following in their parent's footsteps. Among athletes and celebrities, this trend seems quite common (although it's human nature to notice trends, even amongst an ocean of counterexamples). For example: Kirk and Michael Douglas (actors), Martin and Charlie Sheen (actors), Bobby and Brett Hull (hockey), Archie and Peyton Manning (football),Ken Griffy Sr and Jr (baseball), Goldie Hawn and Kate Hudson (actresses), and finally it pains me to say this but Billy Rae and Miley Cyrus (singers/actors, sort of).

Maybe the reason this trend doesn't extend so much to real life is the fact that athletes and celebrities are famous for physical attributes. Athletes needing to have athletic physiques while celebrities need to have good looks. These qualities are a lot easier to transfer (well, not as easy as money) than say intrapersonal skills or knowledge. So while most of us are born with a blank slate, some of these famous children have genes that are important in their parent's careers. Although, there are still some family businesses going on in the world. Also, culture has a lot to do with this. In an individualistic society, children are supposed to create their own path but in collectivist society, children are probably more inclined to follow their parent's line of work.

In my case, does my wanting to become a pharamicist have anything to do with my mom being a nurse? Probably. I also know of people who study science and who have parents who also study science. Coincidence? Maybe, but not likely. We are all shaped in some form by our parents. In some cases, familiarity breeds a form of contempt. But in other cases, we admire the work and achievements of our parents and aspire to be like them.

No wonder my TAs were so mediocre

Turns out it's easier than you think to be a TA (teaching assistant). You just have to have taken the course. Well at least that is what was implied in an email from the UBC math department. While I did well in first year math, I assumed a larger math resume was required before imparting ones knowledge onto the next generation of number crunchers. Then again, it is just first year math for biology students so how hard could it be? There really wasn't any mention of previous experience with tutoring students, volunteer experience or anything like that. The only supplemental resource they asked for was my previous year's grade summary. If grades are the major determining factor, I might very well be selected to become a TA (I am considering applying). This would not be great for the students I help because I am an antisocial person who strives on answers rather than explanations. I might know how to do something but it will be some time before I can properly explain it to some one else so that they understand. Also , what if someone comes up with a question I can't answer? Imagine how long that awkward silence could go on for. All my calculus knowledge is perspiring out of me as we speak. But of course there are benefits to a job like this such as the pay and the experience (something like this could help you get hired at UBC for other jobs in the future). While I'm weighing the pros and the cons, I might as well start brushing up on my differentiation and my integration techniques. It also probably won't hurt to develop a thick Chinese accent.

Biopics that should be made but probably won't

Note: When I talk about movies, I mean major motion pictures and not documentaries or miniseries.

Hitler: What did this guy ever do to deserve..oh ya. There have been many portrayals of Nazi Germany and and concentration camps, some with even brief glimpses of Hitler himself (Valkyrie being the most recent). But what about a movie about Hitler's life (and not the part where he kills the Jews because everybody knows about that). Sure the guy did some bad stuff but he was still human was he not? It's hard to imagine Hitler at age 9 being just absolutley evil. Didn't he want to be a painter? The movie could revolve around his adolescence because I'm sure few people know what that was like.
Why this probably won't happen: Hollywood loves a villain and Hitler is perfect for that. Also, it turns out that a lot of potential directors and actors in Hollywood who happen to be Jewish and they might not fall in love with the idea (i.e. Steven Spielberg, Woody Allen, Oliver Stone, Natalie Portman, Adrien Brody, Sean Penn). Artists will pursue art for arts sake but there are moral boundaries some will not cross.

Napolean: Apparently Stanley Kubrick (director of 2001: A Space Odyssey) wanted to make a sweeping epic about Napolean but the film was stopped because the budget was too large (ironic that anything associated with Napolean was too large). This would be a great movie because it would have lots of historical fight scenes, lots of dialogue in French accents and lots of historically correct costumes including leotard-esque pantaloons for the gents.
Why this probably won't happen: Americans/Canadians don't have a particularily strong appreciation for French history. Certainly not enough to sit in a theatre for over 2 and a half hours watching a short Frenchman conquer Europe.
By the way, does anyone else think Gary Bettman looks like Napolean?

Michaelangelo/Leonardo da Vinci: Either of these great artists would make great subjects for major motion pictures. With Michaelangelo, you could focus on David and the Sistine Chapel and with Leonardo da Vinci you could focus on his inventions and the Mona Lisa, the Last Supper etc.
Why this probably won`t happen: Watching someone paint might be as boring as watching paint dry (technically, you are watching paint dry).

Albert Einstein: You`d think Hollywood would pounce on the story of a young post office clerk who secretly creates a theory that changed science forever (kind of like in Good Will Hunting but with actual accomplishments). Add to this the fact that he is one of the most recognizable characters of the 20th century, with the flowing hair and the crazy attitude, and it`s a shock someone hasn`t won an oscar yet for portraying him in a movie.
Why this probably won`t happen: Americans or Canadians (me included) just aren't capable of following along with such complex theories (E=mc^2 is one thing but what about the theory of relativity?). It's not like you can just skip through his theories like they did in a Beautiful Mind because they were such a big part of his story.

By the way, there are several actual biopics being developed in Hollywood as we speak. Look forward to seeing Charles Darwin, Earnest Hemingway, Martin Luthor King, Frank Sinatra, Abraham Lincoln on a screen near you. (interesting that they are mostly Americans while the biopics I want are mostly of Europeans eh?)

The Lord of the Strings: The career (up to this point) of Roger Federer

The title of this post is clearly inspired (if not in a cringe inducing way) by the J.R.R. Tolkien masterpiece of three volumes. While this may be corny enough, like the infomercials always say "But there's more!" I have split up the career of Roger Federer into three parts based on the three volumes of the story.

Part 1: The Mellowship of the King (I know mellowship isn't a word. Just play along)

As you may or may not know, Roger was once a very vociferous and short-tempered individual. There was many a match when yelling at the umpire, throwing the racket and cursing could be observed from Federer's side of the court. The trantrum throwing brat has now been replaced by a metrosexual man who is often seen crying after a big match (win or loss) and seen carrying a man purse (Not sure what he puts in there because he has a bag for rackets as well). This may present an image problem of its own but on the court, Roger has become a quite and graceful athlete. To be honest, Federer would probably be more well received in North America if he did still have some of that John McEnroe complex.

Part 2: The Two Towers (This is exactly the same as the title of the book which means I am now plagiarizing)

From 2004-2007 Federer was nearly impossible to beat. Then came along a young Spaniard who made his way into the elite company of Federer (Nadal was there from 2004-2007 but didn`t really make a breakthrough on any surface besides clay). These two towering figures in men`s tennis (you get the reference now) had some epic battles in their rivalry including the 2007 and 2008 Wimbledon finals, the latter being hailed as the greatest match ever played. Then they played another epic match in the 2009 Australian Open. Nadal, having won the last three meetings in a grand slam final with Federer, wrangled the number one ranking from Roger`s grasp and began forging his own legacy. Most people started writing off Federer as a great athlete who`s career was starting to go down hill. Some thought he would never win another grand slam.

Part 3: The Return of the King (More plagiarizing. I guess there's no harm now.)

Several months into 2009 and Federer had still not won a title at any event. Part of this was due to a back injury that plagued him starting from the end of the 2008 season. The other part was probably due to a mental block of losing his invincibility on the tennis court. At the same time, Rafael Nadal was winning every title in the clay court season and poised to take another at the Madrid Masters. That was until (as a shock to most of the tennis world) Federer reached the final and beat Nadal on clay in straight sets (a feat reminiscent to beating Michael Phelps in the pool). This provided a little more drama going into the French Open but most still thought Nadal was a lock to take his fifth title in a row at Roland Garros. Everything seemed to be going as planned until a tall Swede came along and ousted Nadal in 4 sets, setting the table for Federer`s first ever French Open victory. Like Pete Sampras, Federer up to that point was a great player but one who had never won a grand slam on clay. With his victory, Roger finally got the monkey (we`re talking bigfoot size) off his back. Everything was set for Roger to win his 15th grandslam and claim the most prestigious record in tennis at the Championships Wimbledon. The only man who bothered to stand in his way happened to be Andy Roddick (a man who probably would have been King had Roger not pulled his racket out of the anvil. A reference to King Arthur). After an awkward 4 hours and 18 minutes (the match reminded me of two people trying to walk through a narrow tunnel only to meet at the middle and then trying to squeeze past each other to get to their desired destinations). In the end, it was Andy who begrudgingly let Roger walk through the tunnel first, into the bright forever of tennis immortality. Now Roger has regained his number one ranking and is playing with a lot of confidence. It seems his career is far from over and who knows, maybe a lost manuscript of J.R.R. Tolkien's fourth volume of the great story will be found someday.

P.S. Sorry to the readers who don't know much about tennis. In my opinion, it is a great sport to watch and an even better one to play.

My adventure in China part 1 more than what ever it was before

Most adventures have plot twists that make the story more interesting. Unfortunately, what is more interesting for the viewer/reader is not always more interesting for the protagonist (like in the sixth sense when Bruce Willis finds out he's actually dead. What a bummer.) Anyway, it just so happens that my adventure in China also had an interesting plot twist. Most of you probably know the short version but now I will tell you the whole story.

So before I begin, let me give a brief note for context. China has been screwed over lately by some pretty nasty epidemics i.e. avian flu, SARS etc. So understandably, when this whole swine flu thing broke out, the Chinese government freaked out and over reacted. Everyday, you could expect the top headline of the news to report the latest tallies of infected patients around the world. Anyway, at the time China didn't have any cases of H1N1 flu so if I had been living there for more than a week, it would have been all right. It just so happened that I was in China for the seventh day, that I had come from a country with numerous reported infections and my mom was a nurse who worked in a hospital with collegues who had just returned from Mexico on vacation. The evidence for infection were pretty convincing now that I think about it but hindsight is 20/20 as they say.

So anyway, I got a fever. No other symptoms except the fever. My parents (rightlyfully on edge) took me to the local hospital where they had just established a fever ward and where doctors had recently had a meeting on the new H1N1 flu. At first they laughed at us when we went in but after we told our story, they gave us face masks and went in the back room. When they came back out they were dressed in blue hazmat suits with face masks and many layers of latex. You wouldn't understand how many times we had to answer basic questions like our names, where we were from etc. but I suppose it was important to be thorough. When an ambulance came to take us to an infectious diseases hospital, we went out of the small room and were greeted by a throng of hospital employees, reporters and cameras. This was probably the closest I would ever come to feeling like a celebrity. Sad, isn't it.

My first ride in an ambulance wasn't particularily eventful although I did get real accustomed to the rhythm of the siren (it was a long ride). I'm not sure if it was the ambulance or the roads but the ride was also very bumpy (bumpy enough to send you flying an inch off your seat). My mom noted that if you didn't have a broken bone before you got to the hospital, you probably would have one by the time you got there.

It turns out the infectious disease hospital was in a very secluded area (makes sense). They treated many types of patients, most worse off than me, but the place seemed very empty for some reason. Anyway, once we got to our isolation rooms, we were asked the same questions as before but by a different group of people. There was a bed, concrete floors, a tv with really bad reception (it was secluded) and a washroom in complete disrepair (apparently, the isolation units hadn't been used in a long time). That night, I was given an IV of something that roughly translates to poison reducer but who was I to argue with their methods. That night, I couldn't get much sleep. This was a result of 2 things. First, while I was in a locked room no where near the outside, some mosquitos got in and feasted on my arms. I suppose they honed in one the heat I was radiating. Besides the discomfort, it is also disconcerting to realize that I was in an infectious disease hospital with HIV and tuberculosis patients, some of whom could have easily been the mosquito's previous meal. Second, it was necessary to report my temperature every four hours. When the time was right, I was awakened with a bell that play Fur Elise. As you know, classical music is very calming.

Now, if I had know I would be alive and well in Canada today blogging from my computer, then I would have asked my parents to get our camera so I could get some establishing shots of the hospital/room. I did, however, have the common sense to record my wounds before they were completely healed and forgotten. The top picture is of some of the mosquito bites I got. The second is a picture of the puncture marks left by the IV needles inserted daily into my hand. Looks like I got bitten by a snake doesn't it?

So anyway, long story short (well, it's already a long story so just bare with me a couple more sentences) we stayed at the hospital for a few more days out of precaution. They supplied us with three meals a day and any other reasonable accomadations (and it was all free too. Can you believe it? Well, about as free as a person can be in China. Ha, communist joke!). Blood and saliva tests confirmed that I only had a regular influenza strain. Thinking back on that time, it probably would have been pretty cool to be the first person in a whole country to get infected. That would be big news, especially in China. Imagine getting transported back to Canada in a special plane for treatment. Now that would be something to blog about. Anyway, there's always next time.

My adventure in China part whatever it is now

I will now give you an introduction to the places I went while travelling in China. For the majority of our stay, we were in Kunming a city situated in Yunnan province in Southwestern China. Suprisingly, the infrastructure was quite advanced for a city in China not named Beijing or Shanghai. I suppose this is partly due to the large tourist industry from both within and outside China. Now for some random thoughts about Kunming:

• It was hot
• It was really hot!
• For some reason, Wentworth Miller (the actor who plays Michael Scofield on Prison Break) is some kind of model extraordinare in Kunming. I saw him on billboards all over the city promoting some sort of new housing development(I`m guessing). I didn`t get a picture of this but suffice to say he wore a purple shirt, carried a man purse and had CGI water splash all over him.
• There were tropical plants all over the place (because it was hot)
• The soil there was red due to Iron deposits
• Taxis were all tagged with a sticker that had a cute cartoon animal and a number. The sign on the sticker read: ``Do you think I am cute? If you do , please remember me.`` Apparently this was some way of protecting foreign visitors from being ripped off by local cab drivers
• Buses all had bus lanes and almost never merged with other traffic
• People there don`t follow traffic reguations (I`m not fully aware of the traffic reguations but I don`t need to know them to know they weren`t being followed)
• On street corners of big intersections, there were police alarms shaped like robocop. If you were in trouble, you could just press the button and get help.
• Speaking of police officers, I saw some patroling the streets on Segways (advanced indeed)
• Did I mention it was hot?

Now on to some actual specific attractions...

World Botanical Expo site in Kunming: Apparently, Kunming was host to some worldwide botanical expo. Every country set up a garden to display the special fauna and culture of their region. I didn`t see the Canada display but let's just say maple trees probably wouldn't have survived down there (because it was hot).



The Stone Forest: A pile of prehistoric rocks have never been so exciting. This practically named attraction used to be the sea floor when dinosaurs roamed the Earth but was brought up to the surface due to some tectonic movement. The park was very large and we had to use a golf cart so see all the major attractions. Along the way, the tour guide mentioned that some of the rock formations looked like people or things. I will let you decide:



The Wild Elephant Valley: Apparently, this was a triple A attraction according to the official bureau of tourism in China. Also apparently, the Chinese government grade their attractions like we grade out beef. Anyway, this was the only place you were ever going to see wild elephants in China. There were elephant performances, bird performances, and the highlight of the park is a 40 min tram ride over pristine (as pristine as an attraction can be in China) tropical rainforest.



The Birds Nest Stadium and the Watercube: Probably now one of the most popular attractions in all of China. These buildings truly are the result of some great designs and even better engineering. However, I must say that the whole experience was a little underwhelming for me because the Olympics were long over and you had to buy tickets to get inside (and there is nothing inside. Believe me, I was there). Another thing occurs to me just now. You still haven`t seen a picture of me in any of my so called adventures. For all you know, I could have made this whole trip up, taking pictures off the ever fruitful internet. However, I also want to keep this blog and my identity (what identity, ha!) private, at least to those people who don`t already know who I actually am (which is probably nobody but it`s good to keep some things mysterious like the location of Springfield). As a compromise, I will post a couple pictures with me and the Olympic stadiums blurred out enough so that those who know me will recognize me and those who don`t won`t. (All editing was done with Picasa as I was too lazy to use better software).

My Adventure in China part 3

The great thing about travelling to another country where English is not the first language but is required for the tourist industry is the lost in translation messages and signs you find. My parents didn't understand my fascination with photographing all these English signs (I guess they didn't understand the humour) but I had a great time taking them.


This isn't so much a translation error as it is a stencilling error. I understand China's becoming more progressive but I don't think they are quite there yet.


Technically, there is nothing wrong with this translation if you live in the 1960s. Unfortunately, one of the drawbacks of memorizing vocabulary instead of learning the language through immersion is that you might find yourself communicating awkwardly.


There is nothing wrong with this translation either Although I can't help thinking some subtle elegance was lost in the name of this ancient artifact.


Here, some of the Chinese artistry in communication is demonstrated. Instead of "Keep off grass" you have the use of personification in an explanation/plea as to why you should keep off the grass.


It may seem obvious that someone mistook a "d" for a "p" but isn't it also possible that what they were going for was the past tense of holding(maybe not)


I was actually quite surprised to find this butchering of the English language at a national park where thousands of foreign tourists come every year. I guess that's what happens when the person carving the sign doesn't know a word of English.


You got my attentions!!(I actually checked on Google to make sure attentions wasn't a word. It isn't in English but it is in French. If these endangered elephants go extinct, it's all your fault France/Quebec/parts of Atlantic Canada/parts of Africa/parts of the Caribbean/Maillardeville especially Maillardeville.)


I have a hard time believing 2 things about this shirt. 1: How did Nestle let this thing out of the factory (joke). 2: Someone had to have done this on purpose right?


The Chinese are really raising the bar on these "keep off the grass signs". This one was found beside the Bird's Nest stadium in Beijing. And believe me, if the grass was smiling at me when I took this picture, I was smiling right back.

Besides the hours of chuckles I got from taking and reviewing these pictures, a serious and possibly awesome idea came into my head. What if instead of making fun of these signs, like you or me, someone actually suggested appropriate changes. I'm sure the people at the attractions would be very thankful. Maybe word gets around and the Chinese government hires you to make sure all English signs in China are error free (sort of like an editor for a whole country except you would only need basic English to do it). Another bonus is that you don't even need to know Chinese to do this, not really. I also don't see why you couldn't do this in any other country where English isn't the official language. So there, another idea on how to travel the world without breaking the bank.

My Adventure in China part 2

In the last post, I introduced some of the plants and ecosystems that we encountered on our trip back to China. Now I will show you some of the animals we saw along the way (most were wild).


The above picture is of a peacock we saw in an amusement park. I actually felt bad for it because it was tied down to the bamboo post and couldn't fly away.


The above is a fresh water crab I found while walking in the tropical rainforest.


As you can see, the rarest sight in all of nature, the wild elephant butt. As you know, these pachyderms are very self conscious animals.(seriously, that was the best photo I could get)


First, no that isn't a fifth leg or some freaky mutation. Second, if you consider relative volume instead of absolute... nevermind. Third, elephants only let it hang out when they are about to go to the washroom (as I found out immediately after taking this picture)


One of several wild monkeys I saw in the rainforest. This one actually was climbing and jumping from branch to branch right above my head.